There are certain 'givens' in the universe. Ken Pounds will come back for 'one more year', The Bard will invariably loss the toss and Paul Illingworth maintaining an uncanny knack of needing some kind of medical assistance before the match is over. 

 The pitch was an absolute belter, well if you are a batsman that is. All the more strange then that Kibworth should be asked to bat. At 34 for 2, with Ken and Fido back in the hutch, maybe the visitors were happy with the decision but that all changed when Tom Bale arrived at the crease to accompany Rickesh Patel. What followed was an exhibition of clean hitting and running between the wickets that was highly committed but bordered on lunacy. Before most fielders had realised leather had hit willow the batters were haring down the strip faster than Roadrunner with a Catherine wheel attached to his rear end. Safe to say the scoring rate picked up speed at an impressive rate. Both passed 50 in a century stand before departing the scene in quick succession, a real shame when three figures seemed a real possibility. The rest of the innings comprised brief cameos to see the home side to a decidedly respectable 233 all out in the last over before tea. Many league teams would be happy with an opening attack of Kean Folley and Ben Underwood so it was an absolute luxury for a Sunday. Ben bowled with considerable control and not a little bit of wobble, Kean shook off his ring rust as his spell continued and he looked more and more like the cricketer we remember from past campaigns. The back up bowling however was a mixed bag. Aadil bowled liquorice allsorts of leg and off spin, intermixed with some comedy appealing, that got him two wickets. Elliot and Tej will benefit from the trundle but didn't appear to be 'hitting the straps' on this particular afternoon but Rickesh did bowl a decent burst which elevated him, probably, to the position of class swot on this occasion. All benefited from Tom Bale's usual effort sweeping the boundary attempting to prove it is indeed possible to be everywhere at once. 

 The surface however was still good. The visiting batsman appeared well set and even 233 looked to be under threat with seven wickets in hand. Despite the inexplicable clamour for The Bard to bring himself on the skipper called back his opening bowlers to save the day. Bunny moaned about a sore neck which soon disappeared when he struck with his second delivery of his new spell, and when two more wickets fell in tandem with Kean from the other end the visitors began to shut up shop. Cricket though is an entertainment business. The nicely oiled crowd revelled in barracking poor Illo who had, true to form, come a cropper for the good name of Kibworth. They had howled when the skipper inadvertently used his shin to stop a howitzer with a crack that could have been heard in Smeeton Westerby but still they weren't satisfied. With one over to go and 48 required they got the bowling change they wanted and the Bard brought himself on. Despite an over of absolute filth the visitors ended up well short of their target. So the first match had ended in a draw. The bowlers had bowled, everyone had a bat and the bar was open so in reality everyone was a winner. We look forward to two weeks time when, weather permitting, it all happens again.

Ronnie Irani's Love Child - 27/04/2009